Experience Is Not Enough - Sermon for Thomas Sunday (2025)

Christ is risen!

I think we’re all in a similar disorientation from the events we experienced the last few weeks—swimming in sorrow but drowning in grace. I think we’ve all had many incredibly profound and grace-filled experiences from all that’s taken place. Father Panteleimon has gives us the best sermons of his life these last few weeks. In his own person he has shown us what is the goal of monastic life and what a Christian ending looks like, what does it mean to prepare to meet the Bridegroom. Most importantly, he has shown us what it means to sing, “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death.” There are few things more powerful than Bright Week funerals. In a certain way, the Paschal funeral is the closest fulfillment to Pascha that we can experience this side of eternity. Perhaps even more so then the feast of Pascha itself because it dramatically and vividly present to us what Christ accomplished in His victory over death and hades. In the face of death and the loss of our beloved father, we sing the resurrection of Christ and the destruction of death. Not half-heartedly, but with conviction and joy. 

We’ve received much grace with all these events taking place and many may have had some spiritual exaltation. This is all very good and God gives it to us because He loves us and wants to console us. However, it is a common mistake to think that what we’ve received is permanent and now life will be different. To think that whatever spiritual fervor that has been engendered is us will now carry us along.

It does not matter what we experienced and what lessons we learned. It does not matter how powerfully we were moved by what took place if we do not live a life of active repentance. If we do not live a life of active repentance, in a few weeks the memories will fade. Grace will slowly slip away unnoticed and we will fall back to our same old habits, our same sinful frame of mind. People often desire to have experiences as proof for the faith, as proof for continuing to pursue monastic life, as proof to remain monks. But these experiences will not save us on their own.

It’s common with St. Thomas (who we commemorate today) to talk about faith and doubt as if it’s merely a question of blindly believing versus needing proof. However, “doubting Thomas” is not quite fair—all the Apostles needed proof. It’s not just that Thomas had a sensory experience of the resurrection and so he believed. We heard in the hymns last night that in his encounter with Christ, God gave him grace to believe. Experience, then, not enough, we need God’s grace to live our calling. And what’s more, St. Thomas faithfully followed the life Christ bestowed upon him and the rest of the Apostles.

So experiences will not save us on their own. We have had former brothers and fathers who witnessed miracles right in front of their eyes and yet they still abandoned monasticism, some outright apostatized. If we want these experiences to remain in our hearts, if we want to use this grace as fuel to re-commit ourselves, to renew our monastic life, we have to always got back to the ABCs of monasticism.

We need to be vigilant over our thoughts and confess the thoughts we’re preoccupied with, that we obsess about. Especially the ones we don’t want to confess—the ones we hope will go away on their own and don’t. The ones we think our spiritual father won’t want to hear. The ones we’re ashamed of.

We have to be obedient to our superiors and spiritual fathers. Not just crucifying our will and doing what we don’t want to, but crucifying our understanding and submitting to the judgment of the person in charge of us. If we disagree with the person in charge or our spiritual father and it bothers us and annoys us—it means we have a carnal, worldly mindset and we have work to do.

We have to bear our brother’s burdens—make excuses for them and instead reproach ourselves for our conduct. And finally, if we can’t do this—if we constantly trip over our thoughts because we can’t ignore them or don’t know how to fight them, if we’re disobedient, talk back and fight our brothers, then we need to repent of our shortcomings and be patient with ourselves. Father Panteleimon would tell novices not to put time limits on God. We shouldn’t think, “If I’m still committing sin ‘x’ in a year, I quit. Monasticism doesn’t work.” Or “If I’m still stuck on issue ‘y’ in three years, or 5 years, or 10 years and I can’t get over it, I’m through”. No. Instead, we need to bear our cross and endure to the end and trust in God’s mercy.

This is the life that Fr. Panteleimon left for us. The best proof that our monastery is a real monastery with authentic monasticism is not the size of our brotherhood. It’s not the new church we’re building. It’s not the countless people that visit from all around. The best proof that our monasticism here at Holy Cross is genuine is because it produced Father Panteleimon. He did not live a life different than what he handed to us. Our way of life, no matter how broken and damaged we are, no matter how lax our typicon might appear, can produce a righteous man of love and prayer. If we struggle to hold on to the life he gave us and to learn and re-learn the ABCs, to patiently endure, we will have further proof of the truth of our calling—we will have the life that Father Panteleimon had—even if only in part.

Again, we see in the Epistle that the faithfulness of the Apostles to the life Christ gave them and their cooperation with the Holy Spirit acting in them allowed them to heal the sick, drive out demons, and yes, even walk through locked doors. But most importantly, it allowed the world to encounter Christ in the live of each Apostle individually as they preached throughout the world. If we can have a share in the life of Fr. Panteleimon, then world can encounter men of prayer and love—the world can encounter witnesses to the resurrection of Christ—which is so desperately needs. Amen. Christ is risen!