Where I Find You, There Will I Judge You - Sermon for the Sunday of St. John Climacus & The 40 Martyrs of Sebaste (2026)

Forty men were being martyred in a freezing lake. One forsook Christ, seeking the warmth of an earthly fire. He died immediately in his fall. The other 39 died soon in their struggle. A pagan soldier saw the apostate’s crown and joined the 39. He died soon in his struggle.

The life of both the apostate and the new convert depict to us that saying of the Lord given to us by the Fathers, “Where I find you, there I will judge you”; and that through Ezekiel, that if a habitual sinner turns and does righteousness, the Lord will not remember this man’s sins. Conversely, if a man solidified in virtue turns to sin, the Lord will not remember this man’s righteousness. 

Where He finds us, there will He judge us. If He finds us buried in sin, despair, and unrepentance, He will judge us in our fall. If He finds us even beginning to stand upright in virtue, hope in His forgiveness, and repentance, He will judge us in our struggle.

Someone asked a Desert Father: “What do we do here in the desert?” He answered: “We fall down and we get back up. We fall down and we get back up.” The brother asked: “And how many times must I get back up?” The Father answered: “As many times as you fall. For, as it is said in Proverbs, ‘A righteous man falls seven times, and rises up again.’ And the Lord says, ‘Where I find you, there I will judge you.’ So we must keep struggling until we are taken up by the Lord either in righteousness or sin.” 

Those in despair must look to the new convert among the 40 Martyrs. They must see how within one moment we can forsake this world and the sin which entangles us and die with and for Christ. But those who are filled with vainglory, self-satisfaction, and delusive pride must constantly warn themselves with the example of the apostate who lost in one moment both this earthly life and the heavenly one.

While we yet have breath in our lungs we constantly vacillate between the life of these two men. We often turn our back on Christ and fall into sin. Other times, we are inflamed with the zeal of repentance and turn our back on sin and call out to Christ. As long as we are alive there is cause neither for despair nor pride, and there is still a seasonable medicine.

When we are desolated by passions and sins, let us not give up. Let us remember the soldier who in one breath went from Christ-hating torturer to Christ-confessing martyr. Let us arise from despair into hope. When we are solidified again in the grace of Christ, let us not become proud and brazenly fearless, forgetting our weakness and the many pitfalls of this life. Let us remember the sufferer amongst the 40 who in one moment went from Christ-loving martyr to Christ-forsaking dead man. Let us weigh our proud souls back down to earth with sobering humility.

St. John Climacus, by his noticeable absence from the hymns of today’s services, silently teaches us humility. He gives way so we can commemorate the 40 Holy Martyrs. He is not self-pitying. He is not vindictive. He is not complaining. He does not yell out before all those in heaven to Christ with that whining which is so offensive even to human ears, “This is always my Sunday! Today the Church remembers me!”

If this invokes a grin within or without as being completely ridiculous, then let us think of ourselves and see how often we act this way. Let us see how we can easily delude ourselves by thinking that since St. John is in heaven he could not possibly act in such a manner, while forgetting that he is in heaven exactly because the state of his soul forsook all such sinful self-love. Let us not delude ourselves and think that we can continue to live in a state contrary to heaven and will still enter it when we leave this earth. As the Fathers teach us, heaven is filled with the pure and humble, and even if a self-loving and proud soul were placed into it, it could not stand to remain there amongst such souls unlike its own. It would be tormented as if in hell.

Let us always remember St. John Climacus’ powerful words: “If pride turned some of the angels into demons, truly humility can make angels out of demons!” The implication is that the demons will not humble themselves, and that we must take their place in heaven through becoming humble like the unfallen angels.

There is a rudimentary humility which accompanies those who are often repenting and constantly aware of their sins. They see themselves as worse than everyone. They do not dare judge others because they can only see their own sins. They do not think their opinions and wishes matter. They do not crave attention and glory. They do not seek out rewards from the hands of men, but constantly reach out to the hand of Almighty God.

There is also a perfect humility which accompanies those who are solidified in dispassion and are mature in all the virtues. Since they have acquired the consciousness of their own nothingness and uselessness apart from God, they are further clothed with the understanding that everything they are, everything they have, and everything good they have ever done is the grace of Christ.

Humility is acquired by humbling ourselves and by suffering unsought humiliation. We humble ourselves when we give way to others because we see them as more deserving of honor than ourselves. We see Christ in them and only sins in ourselves. We suffer unsought humiliation when we encounter pain of body or soul, sickness, insults, slights from others, or even by simply being unnoticed, and fight against the sorrow, anger, and despondency which rise up in us from these sufferings.

In both cases, we must pray fervently to Christ. If we humble ourselves before other men while looking to other men for reward, we reap nothing. But if we humble ourselves before others, praying to Christ to be merciful to us who seek to be merciful, we serve Christ. If we all did this, the earth would become Paradise. Yet we know from daily current events and the Scriptures that such will never happen until Christ returns to make a new heaven and earth. But maybe we can still make this monastery Paradise.

When we suffer humiliation from pains, passions, and offenses, let us pray fervently to Christ to purify us through these struggles, begging Him to suffer such things with the knowledge that all resides in His providence and that He seeks to use every adversity to purify, humble, enlighten, and make us more like Him.

The Fathers teach that the man who constantly prays to Christ about everything, when he does something good or comes through a trial with spiritual profit, knows exactly where it came from, does not attribute anything to himself, and grows in humility because he sees his own weakness simultaneously with Christ’s all-accomplishing power.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have not even made a beginning. But we should not despair because of this. St. Arsenius the Great prayed with such a confession every day. Who are we not to? The thief embraced his sufferings as due reward for his sins, confessed Christ, and entered Paradise in one moment. The publican was justified by one short prayer. The 40th martyr of Sebaste was perfected in martyrdom by one valiant leap.

The source of the Saints’ courage and conversion lies in their complete trust in Christ. When suffering, they begged Him for strength. When sinful, they confessed to Him their wrongs and need for grace. When glorified, they glorified Him. In every circumstance, let us do the same, constantly glorifying and thanking Christ when receiving the good things or the bad things of this life, as Job did. Let us constantly confess our sinfulness and unworthiness of being adopted children of God and siblings of Christ by grace. Let us constantly pour out our hearts to Christ in every pain, trial, affliction, and confusion. Let us constantly beg Him for help and mercy at every moment, with every breath. Let us pray to Him as St. Macarius the Great taught us, saying, “O Lord, as You know and as You will, have mercy on me.” Again, the Saint says that in times of severe combat it is enough to cry out, “Lord help!”

Let us do the same in simplicity, humility, and patience, and we too can walk in the footsteps of our Fathers and become little martyrs by dying to ourselves daily. Let us cry, “Lord Jesus, have mercy” with every breath. And if the crowd of the passions and demons tries to suffocate and silence us, then like the blind men let us call out even more zealously. If we keep struggling like this while unceasingly getting back up, Christ will crown us as He sees fit—in this life with seasons of the conscious perception and enjoyment of His grace, and in the life to come with the interpenetrating unveiled glory of His divinity, which He shares together with the Father and Holy Spirit, and with Them imparts its life-giving grace to all who thirst for it unto the glory of the Holy Trinity unto the ages of ages. Amen.